I'm headed to the Dr. today.  I have been having some pain and numbness in my arm that is causing me to lose sleep. Frankly, I think it's "Holidayitis" - it happens every year in some form or another. I actually know what I need to do - rest, relax, let go of some shit and have some holiday fun.

But this blog isn't about my aches and pains.  This blog is an effort to inform and educate those in the medical profession who might need to change how they do business in 2020.  This change has been needed for decades and I'm hoping it will start to sink in soon.

This blog is about health forms and the impact they have and how we can make sure they are having the impact that is most effective and intended.

In preparation for my doctor's visit, I dutifully began the process of filling out the required health forms online. As I neared completion, I got a notice that I needed to sign off on a form called "Healthy Weight Education".  I couldn't complete the process until I checked the box that I understood and had reviewed the material.

Why did I get this form? I'm sure it's because when I entered my height and weight I triggered something in the BMI calculation so now they felt like it was their duty to tell me about what it means to be overweight and what obesity is.

So the first order of business they presented me with was how obesity was a preventable death and how obesity is all about death, high risk, and disease.  That was lesson number one called to my attention.

Lesson number two was how the calculation of BMI worked.

Lesson number three gave me the causes of obesity.  Inactivity, bad eating habits, lack of sleep and medications and age. Obesity can also come from genetic, hormonal and environmental causes they went on to tell me.

And last they told me that I should exercise, maintain a healthy diet, be alert to medication side effects and make a long term commitment to monitor food and drink intake. Gee thanks, I've never actually heard that before. (Picture an eye-roll so big you can hear it.)

I get it - I understand why this two-page intrusion into my day was created.  But this form does so much more harm than good and I'm writing this quickly because I plan on bringing it to the doctor's office and letting them know. We can't change what we aren't aware of right? It's worth a shot.

So let's start with the fact that this form was given to me because of a BMI calculation. Why is this even still used today? It has been completely debunked as having anything to do with real health. Check out this article for more on that. BMI was created by a statistician to measure a population. A population of young white males. It does not take into account females, aging, other cultures or children. It is not designed to give any relevant information about a person's health. 

Ok - so now they calculated my BMI and have sent me the health education form. And the first thing they tell me is that I'm going to die or get sick.  How is this helpful and how does this make anyone want to go to the doctor?

Don't they know that so many people will avoid the doctor due to messaging like this and end up sick and dying because they didn't get the care they really needed? Don’t they want people to take care of themselves and be well?

And what about my emotional and mental state? Fear does nothing to help people heal anything. Scaring people into changing something never works. Doesn't the medical profession include psychology? Do they ever talk to them before creating these forms that do more harm than good? Sorry - getting a little attitude there.

Ok - so first they flag me and then they try to scare me into changing. Now, according to their really helpful form, let me see what they suggest I change.

Oh wait, obesity can be caused by genetics, hormones and the environment. And also by medication. So can someone tell me exactly how I'm supposed to go about changing any of those? Are people not supposed to take medications that can be life-saving and transformative if it's going to make them gain weight? How are we supposed to control for environmental causes?

Can you stop my hormones from changing as I get closer to menopause and my body does exactly what it's supposed to do as I exit my childbearing years?

As for genetics, I know epigenetics is a new and upcoming and exciting concept in science. It's the idea that we are not beholden to our genetics and we can have some influence over how our genes are expressed. I really love this. And yet -it will still vary greatly from person to person and experience to experience and what this means or how we might be able to have some more control over it has yet to be determined.  There is no map or one size fits all solution for this right now.

It seems a bit preposterous that this bit of education they gave me tells me to change my size but then tells me about a bunch of factors that I can't even begin to control even if I wanted to.

Ok - and now they are also telling me that obesity comes from inactivity - with a horrible picture of an exhausted fat person, bad eating habits (it shows a picture of french fries), lack of sleep and again - the medications and age category. 

As if there aren't also thin people who are inactive, eat poorly, sleep terribly and are on medications.

Did they even ask me how active I am? Did they ask me about my eating habits? Did they ask me about my sleep? And again - what exactly am I supposed to do about my age? Stop aging? Or any medications - stop taking them?

Was there a place where I could make a note or ask questions?

Did they ask me if I'd ever had an eating disorder? Did they ask me about all the other internal and external factors that can affect the size of someone's body from financial issues, childhood trauma, education, sexual assault, access to quality food, or shaming and weight stigma (ironic huh), not to mention physical conditions that are known to cause weight gain and so many many other things that make up our complex and interesting lives as humans on this planet?

I have a daily exercise routine. Sometimes it includes a gym approved workout and sometimes it’s dancing in the kitchen and walking the dog. Sometimes it includes cleaning, shopping, and chores around the house. I maintain a healthy diet, which includes a wide variety of foods that nourish, satisfy, sustain and give pleasure. 

It was actually a long term commitment to monitoring food and drink that messed me up in the first place and made me physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally less healthy.   For 30 years I dieted and tried to control every ounce of food that went into my mouth.  I may have been thinner but was I healthy? This behavior only served to take me far away from trusting my own body and far away from making decisions that were right for me.

I happen to be healthier now then I have been in a very long time now that I am learning how to listen to my own body.  I no longer loathe myself and I am reaching in each moment for thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and actions that will continue to support my well being from a place based on compassion, acceptance, love, peace, joy, and freedom.

I have no doubt that I can conquer the world, or at least all the things on my to-do list when I take care of myself the way that I have learned to do over the last decade. If I was doing it your way I would still be starving myself, hating myself, full of fear and lack of trust and judging everything I eat and flogging myself for not moving fast enough, hard enough, long enough or often enough.

So what I would like to see ideally is that forms like this are not thrust on people without their consent. It's invasive and likely to have negative consequences that you may not have intended as people absorb and internalize the fear and shame that comes from these interventions.

Why don't you just wait until you can ask me questions in person? Do I feel good in my body? Am I active? Do I want to be? Am I struggling with anything I want to accomplish? Am I sluggish and tired (which could be for many reasons other than weight.) How is my home life? How are my relationships? Am I safe? How is work? Do I have enough food? Am I stressed? Is there anything I don't feel good about that I want to change?

What? You don't have time to go over all that in the appointment?

Well then, if you want to at least do no harm, stop creating forms like what I was just forced to experience and we will call it a day (for now).  

Thank you for your time and I hope you have a great holiday.