Changing the Holiday Paradigm
/Over Thanksgiving in the U.S., I saw so many videos and memes of the exhausted mother shooing everyone out of the kitchen so she could cook and clean and prove her worth by controlling and micromanaging the entire holiday process.
Sound familiar?
Ugh.
No thank you.
I let go of that years ago. That is a an old paradigm that says you need to please others and control everyone in order to have value.
Instead, this is how my holiday went down. I was hosting my family for the holiday. Years ago I would have worked myself into a frenzy with stress, worry, fear, judgment, controlling and trying to “make everything perfect” (whatever the heck that means.)
This time, I let things unfold. I let people help. I did the things I’m good at. I put my intention on having a peaceful time and let the divine help lead the way.
In practical terms, this meant that I did pre-holiday grocery shopping and took care of lists and communicated with people to collaborate and coordinate. I also cleaned and decorated and put together the holiday music playlist because that felt the most fun to me.
And then:
One of my sons made the pies, he loves baking.
My daughter hand washed the kitchen floor after I went to bed.
All the kids helped move chairs and furniture.
My mother brought the exact house warming gift that I needed at just the right moment. (Thanks Mom!)
My sisters brought all kinds of yummy appetizers and side dishes.
My husband woke up and couldn’t sleep and made breads at 4 am the day before the holiday.
On Thanksgiving day, my husband cooked the turkey. At noon we were looking at the to-do list and marveling at how everything was already done or coming together. It felt like a miracle!
During the day, there were also many opportunities where we both chipped in and did the work, (I set the table, he mashed the potatoes), but we both did what came naturally to us and what felt good. We weren’t keeping score of who did what or who should be more tired.
We co-created the experience. It felt easy and fun. Everything was getting done without my micromanaging and controlling a thing.
My husband and I also shopped for groceries together before the big day. This was such a fun manifestation because he wanted to go to Costco on a SATURDAY before Thanksgiving! I thought he was crazy but I noticed and changed my negative thinking and went with it, eager to see how it would flow.
As we pulled into the parking lot, people were honking and beeping and running red lights. It was madness. But we easily pulled into a spot, found the pathways that were open and free, and navigated through the store like we were the only ones there. It was magical.
I truly believe it was because we were both in a peaceful and allowing state of mind. We didn’t tell ourselves it would be crazy, we didn’t get upset with the crowds, we held patience and love in our hearts and were happy to be together.
It was one of those times where you can totally see how some people can see the same experience through different eyes and have a totally different experience. We had a blast while other couples were arguing and people were honking and cursing and grumbling.
Which brings me to the lesson I am marinating in this week. As my mentor and friend Maureen Whitehouse says, “a miracle is a shift in perspective”. Surviving Costco on a Saturday was a miracle!
And as my friend Julie so astutely pointed out to me this week, Paul Selig says “Behold, I make all things new.” Behold refers to how you see something. And when you see something differently, it’s a whole new experience!
Whether it’s how you see your family, how you look at your body, how you interact with your partner, there is a whole world of beauty, joy, love and connection if only we are willing and open to see it differently.
How do you want to “see” the holiday season? What do you want to behold and make new? What shift in perspective would feel like a miracle?
Are you ready to live life differently in 2025?
Live Free,
Elizabeth Hall
Certified Professional Mind Body Eating & Intuitive Wellness Coach
Three Things Rocking My World This Week
This podcast which speaks to the ideas in this newsletter. How can you let go of fear and live from love and be yourself? It can save your life.
This book. WOW!
This song. The ending gives me chills every time. Man, I wish I could sing.