Want More Clarity in Your Food Choices?
/Making choices about food and body can sometimes feel like walking through landmines. Have you ever felt this way?
Clarity can feel elusive.
Clarity starts with a vision of what you are trying to achieve and a "why" that comes from your higher self.
We also need to BELIEVE we can have what we want and that it is possible to achieve.
Clarity is strengthened when you are not judging your decisions or feeling shame or guilt about what you are doing.
What Do You Want?
When we tune in and ask ourselves what we want, we usually have a pretty good idea of what that is.
Some examples of what we might want and why:
I want to feel vibrant and alive in my body so I can walk a mile with my dog.
I want my body to be as functional as possible so I can play with my grandkids.
I want my body to feel good so I can enjoy doing activities I love.
I want to be mobile so I can travel.
Notice that these what's and why's are not coming from the ego. We are not saying - "I want to look hot in a dress so everyone will admire me at the wedding."
(Ego can get in the way of clarity. )
Assess Your Decisions
Once you have your what and your why you can assess your decisions. Is this choice taking me closer to where I want to be or farther away?
It's not that hard to answer that question.
Are you feeling the way you want to feel? Are you able to do what you want to do?
If not, then something needs to change.
Letting Go
What happens at this point is people start to shame themselves for what they "should" be doing or shame themselves for not changing what they know needs to change. Or they shame themselves for getting here in the first place.
This is going to muck up your clarity pretty darn fast.
When we start to beat ourselves up and judge ourselves for our choices, we add more discomfort and dysregulation to our nervous systems.
Now we need comfort. Often comfort comes in the form of an old pattern and that pattern may be something that is getting in the way of how we want to feel. See the conundrum?
"I want to be in a strong body, but I am judging myself for not making the right choices 24/7, and when I judge myself my choices are even worse, and then I'm right back at the beginning. I'm such a loser."
In this example, a pattern of overeating or lack of energy can result from patterns of negative self-talk or shoulding ourselves.
It's a vicious cycle.
To break the cycle, we want to let go of judgment and critical self-talk. Ultimately we want to get to a place of unconditional love for ourselves.
It takes time and practice but it's what is going to help you get to your ultimate goal.
Beating yourself up is not going to get you where you want to go.
When you live in a judgment-free space, you are then able to assess and respond to what is going on in your life with more clarity.
Practice Loving Kindness
I love this overeating video from Kyle Cease because in it he says;
"Instead of aiming for the conditional love of a healthy body, aim for the unconditional love of all that is, and then once you realize you are truly loved, you might not want to eat badly because you are truly loved."
Brilliant. This has been my exact experience.
Once I realized my sense of self-worth and had more love for all that is, I became enlivened and inspired to pursue a healthy body from the energy of loving support.
If you find that you are not making the choices that you want to be making for your well-being, or it feels like you never know what to do or what to choose, start by choosing kindness.
Real-Life Examples
Two people come to mind when I think of how to embody clarity. I think of my sister first. She holds love and compassion for her body and has always connected to it without judgment since she was young. So when she starts feeling bloated and uncomfortable, she doesn't get judgmental, she gets curious.
And then she experiments with different choices until she lands on the result that feels the best. There is no rebellion eating or restriction or feeling of deprivation. It's simple and clear. "I have discovered that this food makes me feel gassy and bloated and uncomfortable so I choose to eat less of it."
Easy peasy.
I also think of my coaching friend who I have learned so much from when it comes to food. She also connects to her body from a place of respect and gratitude. So when she starts to feel unwell, she can explore what may have changed recently and made different choices until she comes back into harmony.
It's easier to pivot and adjust when you are clear and when you are coming from love. And it's easier to be clear when you are free of shame, blame, and judgment.
My Experience
For myself this summer, I have identified that I want to be stronger and more fit. This desire is coming from my higher self. It's not about impressing anyone else. I want to walk miles and move with ease.
My relationship with shame and judgment is good but could be better. Likewise, my loving-kindness practice could be stronger.
When I am not connected to myself from a place of loving kindness, sometimes I can get stuck in my head when I am making food choices. I end up telling myself stories and getting lost in rationalizations.
As I learn to recognize this pattern, rather than beat myself up - I'm pausing, breathing, and turning toward myself with compassion. That is when I feel more at ease and I am more able to make the choices that I know are best for my body.
My clarity comes from my love for myself and this not only applies to food, but to career and relationships too.
Looking for more self-love?
My favorite resources this summer have been Matt Kahn, Kim D'Eramo, and Sara Landon (I look forward to tuning into Sara's series on worthiness in September).
I receive no benefit from promoting their work. I share these because they have been pivotal guides for my growth.
Everyone who is living an optimal, harmonious, and balanced life agrees that love is the path and the answer.
Live Free,
Elizabeth