When I was Quoted in The New York Times

Recently, an article came out in the New York Times about weight gain during COVID and I was honored to be interviewed and quoted in the article. 

The author had enjoyed my blog post about quarantine fat jokes which you can find here.  To read more about quarantine and weight gain, be sure to also check out my chapter in The Great Pause - Blessings & Wisdom from COVID-19. You can pre-order your copy on my website. 

Today I wanted to talk about how sharing your work with the world is related to your relationship with food and body.  I also dive deeper into what my quote actually meant in the article. I may be my own worst critic (aren't we all!) but I felt like it needed some interpretation.

First off, part of the reason we focus on food and weight in our world is that we might not be satisfied or fulfilled in other areas of life.

This was true for me - I was a health actuary for 20 years and never really loved it. Something was missing and I thought it was something missing in me.  That was one of the reasons I tried so hard to fill that void by being as "perfect" as I could be in other ways (i.e. try and make my body as small as possible based on the false belief that smaller is better.)

Eventually, I realized that I wanted a more fulfilling means of interacting with the world and I wanted to feel more connected to the work I was doing.  Feeling unfulfilled wasn't a flaw - it is actually a pretty common drive that we have as humans to find meaning and connection.

So I kept following the things I love to do. I love to read, learn, write, guide, support, teach, think, analyze, and share. Hmmmm - what could I do with that?

So far, life coaching on the topic of our relationship with food and body is hitting all the markers and more!

As part of this process of finding what I wanted to do, I have also had to find out who I wanted to be. How do I want to think? How do I want to show up in the world? What do I want to let go of? What do I want to believe?

As you can imagine, the road to life coaching is rich with opportunities for this kind of reflection.  It's one of my favorite things to do. I love inviting in unlimited possibilities and exploring what limitations I can let go of.

What I think is so fun about being quoted in the New York Times is that all I have been doing for the past few years is attempting to stay true to what I want to do and how I feel and what I believe. I express this part of myself through my blog and that is how the Times found me.

They found me when I was just being me.

To me, that is validation that I am heading down the right path for me, and the ease with which things like that happen reminds me that life can actually flow with ease. How is it and why is it that we are always making it harder?

So the life coaching lesson here is when you stay true to your heart, fun things happen with ease and you will be guided to serve in a way that is uplifting for you and also beneficial to others. You don't have to do anything other than be yourself. 

In addition, if lightness and joy do not exist in your current situation, it's always possible to find if it's something you want. You get to choose to open that door or not.

Now for the actual quote in the article.

I loved how the article is supporting a compassionate approach to understanding weight gain. Although I felt like the meaning was a bit ambiguous and the cover picture was also rather fat-shaming.  Unfortunately, the authors don't get to choose their art.

Diving in, my quote said "look at feeling bad as the canary in the coal mine — the indicator that something might be ready to change, said Elizabeth Hall, an intuitive eating coach in Farmington, Conn. Although people often respond by vowing to buckle down or work harder, she said, the way to end the guilt and shame is actually just to notice those feelings, and to ask yourself if they are serving you or causing suffering.  Feeling bad is actually an invitation to expand and shift our consciousness and let go of expectations and old programming,” 

What I meant by that was - if you don't like your body and are judging it, or if you are dieting over and over and doing the same things and not getting where you want to go,  it's a sign that something needs to change - but it doesn't necessarily mean your body needs to change!

Anytime we feel discord with our bodies - it can be thought of as our personal GPS system saying - hey, there's something to look at over here! 

Unfortunately, we often jump into "fix it" mode and go to work on the body or our food, (among other things) without exploring what might be underneath our feelings of discomfort or interfering with how we take care of our bodies. 

It can seem a lot simpler to count some calories or try a new diet plan than to end a relationship or change jobs. 

But if we don't stop to notice the underlying feelings, we may end up distracted by the stories we have made up about our bodies and never getting to the root of the issue. In essence, we prolong our discomfort.

Some people might also say that uncomfortable feelings serve us by motivating us to work harder and change our bodies, but we can never have lasting and meaningful change when we are coming from a place of guilt, hatred, loathing, and shame. We need to tap into love, appreciation, and gratitude for real change to occur.

So when we feel bad, we want to let go of the ingrained message that "bad" means "fix" and we need to examine what it is we believe before we choose how we want to respond.

If our culture values thinness and we gain some weight during COVID, and if we are operating from those expectations, we may feel fearful of the gain and beat ourselves up for it. This could actually lead us into a bigger cycle of panic and trying to change back and failing because we are trying to change from a place of fear and the spiral continues.

Instead, we want to sit with our feelings and sit with our reality and have compassion and allow ourselves to move through and release all the things that may be bothering us.

What are you equating with your weight gain? Is that really true? What else could be true? What incredible things does your body do for you every day? What are you grateful for and what are you afraid of?

Greet yourself and your fear like you would a young child.  Let the feelings be expressed without trying to fix or change.  When we allow ourselves that grace and that space, that is when the solutions roll in and more options become available than we saw before.

We may realize we are actually exhausted and need to rest, or that a walk outside feels like just the right thing or maybe that we've been eating more food out of fear and it doesn't feel good and we start to explore what would feel better.

No harsh criticism, no restrictive plans, no catastrophic projecting out into the future of all the things that could go wrong or all the things everyone is going to think, say or do when you come out of quarantine.

When we relax and allow and accept where we are in the present moment, we may even find that we don't want or need any food to soothe or comfort us because we are soothing and comforting ourselves already.

Where are you in your relationship with food and body right now? How can you offer your body more compassion and understanding and what happens when you do?

If you would like any assistance in expanding into a more spacious and joyful way of being when it comes to food, sign up for a free consult here or send me an email. It is my pleasure to assist you in seeing this issue from a different perspective in order to uncover possibilities you may never have known existed.

Are you ready to explore?

Photo by Sarah Boudreau on Unsplash